I'm sorry, I still love you beer.

Almost a year ago I wrote about 9 beers that I had picked up from Liquor Loft here in Tallahassee. I only reviewed three of them. So to disabuse myself of shame I will pick up where I left off. I won't review Stella because its everywhere, or Red Stripe, go buy one yourself cheap ass.

Rogue - Mocha Porter

Rogue is notorious for their darker concoction and the mocha porter is no slouch in darkness. It is a ruddy brown color with a lighter chocolate head. It is smooth, and palatably bitter brew. There are indeed notable chocolate and coffee notes. I found this to be a good but not exceptional beer.

Taste: 6

Texture: 7

Originality: 6

Aroma: 7

ABV: 5.2

Piraat - a BPA (belgian pale ale)

The name is a decent enough indicator of this beer. It will pillage and plunder you if you are not careful. It packs a massive punch, it is quite yeasty, with a high malt profile and back end hops profile. It tails off with a large alcohol taste and at 10.5 there is no doubt why. Best served in a chalice glass or a brandy snifter, give this beer ample air to permeate. I had only 12 oz of this trappist contraption but by the end of it, I may have indeed walked the plank.

Taste: 8

Texture: 8

Originality: 7

Aroma: 7

ABV: 10.5

Orange Blossom Pilsner

Pilsners were the first true light beer. Prior to the cultivation and use of bottom fermenting yeast, and the appropriation of caves for cool storage; most beer lacked clarity flavor and shelf-life. The Czech's were the first to institute these methods and developed Pilsner Urquel which is still available today. What the fuck does that have to do with OBP? Well simple, this beer is a clear, light frothy beverage with great sessionability (you can drink more than a few of these guys). It is crisp in flavor and benefits from a healthy dosage of Orange Blossom Honey, from my hometown of Orlando FL. I am not particularly biased towards pilsners to begin with, particularly the hoppy variety, however I do enjoy this beer quite a bit, especially in the summer.

Taste: 6.5

Texture: 7

Originality: 7

Aroma: 7

ABV: 5.5

North Coast - Old Rasputin

If you are not familiar with the story of Rasputin, the mad monk of czarist Russia, I suggest you do yourself a favor and read this http://badassoftheweek.com/rasputin.html sure the language is a bit colorful but almost completely historically accurate. Not only this but Rasputin happened to also prophesize the downfall of the Romanov dynasty in Russia. He said if he was killed by a commoner, the monarchy would last generations, but if he was taken down by a member of the royal family, no Romanov would live for two years.

If you didn't read the above, Rasputin was an insane holy man of Russia who boned the whole royal family, was legitimately killed like 5 times, and his penis was held by an order of Nun's in Germany as a Holy Relic, which mythically when looked upon cleared erectile dysfunction. Take all of these kickass quality, roll them into one beer, and you get Old Rasputin.

A dessert of a beer, chocolate, coffee, toffee, caramel, complete overhaul of almost everything you know about beer. Basically if Jesus punched you in the mouth this is probably what it would taste like. There is a mild alcohol flavor as well.

As a final note, don't be a pussy, put ice cream in this beer and enjoy a beer float. If you don't, you are an unworthy bitch of a human being.

Taste: 9.5

Texture: 8

Originality: 9

Aroma: 9.5

ABV: 9